Anxiety is not my friend

The last couple of days have sucked beyond belief. I already have anxiety problems but now my anxiety is really turning up a notch. Dealing with my parents is very torturous and at times it really puts me on edge. They don't care how i feel or how much i care about being a production designer or the fact that finding work right now that pays is nearly impossible. So its getting closer to the time I have to start paying my loans and I have no job to pay them plus I have to pay rent as well. Its very frustrating and the pressure is on. I feel like I have so many obligations not only to my parents expectations but my own. I don't know what to do. I don't want to sacrifice my career goals to get a 9-5 job that i will hate. I guess i have several options 9-5 and due film on the side when I can, do part-time and do film on the side as well. I am running out of options and if I have to do the 9-5 i guess i will just have to put my career goals on hold until this recession is over. I've had to fight for everything i have accomplished and it sucks because everything that should be easy in my case is not! Sometimes it makes me think what have i done to deserve such a horrible upbringing. But i can't give up now I have worked so much to proof to myself that I can be someone! I just have to keep the hope alive somewhere before this depression gets the best of me!