New Start

Its been a long time since i've updated my blog....
I am in a new city and headed in a new direction, I moved to San Francisco and I am back to school
for my masters in Interior Architecture and design, currently starting my second semester. So far I am getting to figure out what I really want to pursue with design and will see where this new field takes me into.

Music is Love!

Music is a huge inspiration for me I really love 2 things in the world one of them is Music and the other is Film without these things I don't think I can survive life. I love music because it has every aspect of life in it!. You can choose your mood through a song. I really love all types of music and I am very open to anything. One of the genres I love is hip hop their lyrics are poetry and some of them can be very beautiful, truthful, abstract. Not only what makes rap fantastic are its lyrics but their beats are what really makes the song pop put even more. One of the things I love about rap is that its really almost like live painting you can mash songs together from different generations and make something more interesting its like a masterpiece that keeps re-writing itself.
Here are some of my favorite lyrics of current songs you may recognize.

"I'm the earth, wind, fire, and the thunder
I said I am, go ask my mother
You don't believe that shit believe what you want to
Alright, OK,"-Mos Def

"On highways write with road rage
Cages a winning, cages a tin that bounce all around
Surround sound, devouring the scenes
SUBLIMINAL GANGRENE PAINTINGS,
over all the same things" -Mike Shinoda

"Through me you are the obvious"- Perfect Circle

"Cuando el día se agoto
sentí que era tiempo de
regresarle pasos al camino
Pregunté de vuelta si
todavía existia el amor
nadie se digno a contestar"-La Ley

"What you touch you don't feel
Do not know what you steal
Destroy everything you touch today
Please destroy me this way "-Ladytron

"Our lives are changing lanes
You ran me off the road,
The wait is over
I'm now taking over,
You're no longer laughing
I'm not drowning fast enough."-Strokes

"it's holding me, morphing me
and forcing me to strive
to be endlessly cold within
and dreaming i'm alive"- Muse

"I like it in the city when two worlds collide
You get the people and the governement
Everybody taking different sides" -Adele

"The black mirror knows no reflection
It knows not pride or vanity
It cares not about your dreams
It cares not for your pyramid schemes
Their names are never spoken
The curse is never broken"-Arcade Fire

"Not Shy of a spark
The knife twist at the thought that I should fall short the mark
Frightened by the bite though it's no harsher than the bark
Middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start"-Artic Monkeys

Music Video

This weekend we shot a up and coming teen pop star, this was my first music video I have been production designer for! I am pretty happy with the outcome for what little tiny budget we had and I am just really excited to see the final product. There is something about being on set that I really love and even though at times its frustrating and hard I really love the feeling of accomplishment there is after the project is finished. After working on film, theater and music video stuff for the past 6 weeks non-stop I am giving myself a break to catch up with friends and real life dilemmas. My search for a 9-5 job will now be my full priority its very hard to let go of my true passion and love for design but its something I have to do to pay the bills. I will do both at the same time and see what happens. Here are some pics of the set!

Anxiety is not my friend

The last couple of days have sucked beyond belief. I already have anxiety problems but now my anxiety is really turning up a notch. Dealing with my parents is very torturous and at times it really puts me on edge. They don't care how i feel or how much i care about being a production designer or the fact that finding work right now that pays is nearly impossible. So its getting closer to the time I have to start paying my loans and I have no job to pay them plus I have to pay rent as well. Its very frustrating and the pressure is on. I feel like I have so many obligations not only to my parents expectations but my own. I don't know what to do. I don't want to sacrifice my career goals to get a 9-5 job that i will hate. I guess i have several options 9-5 and due film on the side when I can, do part-time and do film on the side as well. I am running out of options and if I have to do the 9-5 i guess i will just have to put my career goals on hold until this recession is over. I've had to fight for everything i have accomplished and it sucks because everything that should be easy in my case is not! Sometimes it makes me think what have i done to deserve such a horrible upbringing. But i can't give up now I have worked so much to proof to myself that I can be someone! I just have to keep the hope alive somewhere before this depression gets the best of me!

In Captivity

So for the last couple of weeks I have been MIA because I devoted my entire time to this film I am thinking its been about 5-6 weeks of non - stop work. In the end after all the hard work I think the project is going to look amazing! Here are a few of my favorite pics while on location.

Enjoy!

Saying Goodbye is hard!

My sister has left to Korea for the next year. I left her at the airport on Monday and it was hard to hold back the tears. Seeing my sister leave to Korea for a year. My sister and I are extremely close not only in age 1 year difference but we share everything. We are both artist and have been there for each other when no one else has been there. We have become each others support system which has helped when we needed that support from someone to keep us going with our dreams. At times we've had to fight extra hard for whatever we accomplish. I guess thats the way life is when you come from a broken home. Its something that we have dealt with our entire lives and yet have managed to make our goals a reality. So saying goodbye to my sis was hard because we have always been relatively close in proximity of each other but now she is 12 hrs away and there's a 16 hrs difference. As my mom and I stood there waving goodbye to her my eyes were glassy from holding back the tears that growing up is hard to do and saying goodbye is even harder to do as well. It felt like there goes my sister all grown up now, becoming an adult an independent women something we have committed ourselves to being. I am proud that she is so brave to leave to a foreign country that most people frown upon because they are comfortable with where they are. But for people like my sis and I traveling and being independent is one of our major goals in life. I know it will be hard to get a custom to her new surroundings but like everything that is new is difficult and uncomfortable but with time you make friends learn new things and it grows to an experience that you will never forget. If everything works out for my sister and she is ok with Korea I will get the opportunity to come and visit in Christmas which would be amazing. So far its been amazing to be able to talk to her online. I love technology for that reason being able to communicate with on aim has been awesome and asking her all the 20 thousand questions I have and my parents have. I can't wait for pictures to come already I want to see where she is living. So in the meantime while she is gone and I am adjusting to her not being with me it will be a valuable experience on my part as well. Being independent from her and doing my own thing without my sister will be interesting I know at some point siblings have to grow apart and move apart from each other and live their lives. So will see what the next couple of months bring.

Its been a while

Its been a while since I last posted something. Well it has been an interesting couple of months at first it was filled with extreme boredom at times frustration and anxiety over what to do next. Its been hard trying to deal with the fact that being an artistic person in the real world doesn't bring int the money that you would like. Sometimes I think about trying to go the 9-5 route or just getting several part-time jobs doing what I love most which is art. I have not decided yet. But in the mean time I have been extremely busy working on a student film. I have to say that this film has been extremely demanding and a learning experience. I really love working with the production designer and it has been a wonderful experience to learn from her. Out of all the movies I have been part of I have to say that for a 13 minute short this has been the most demanding film I have been part of. At the same time working on this film I am also working on a theater piece with one of my good friends. So will see how tired I will be by the end of October when everything should be finished and see what new project I am involved in. Even though I am mostly physically exhausted and drained I have to say I rather be doing this than nothing.

I will post some pictures of my adventures soon.